Liberation!

Two field trips, Grace's birthday party, dinner with my family, dinner with my friends, my in laws came to visit, two co-ops, church, and lots of school work in just one week. And during the middle of all that I turned 40. Somehow the turning 40 thing got lost in the middle of all the activity.

I have thought alot about the fact that I was going to reach a major milestone in my life this year. I planned what I would do. Thought about how I would feel. And contemplated what it all meant. Yet the "day" came and went and nothing changed. No earth shattering events occurred. I have decided after thinking about the impending date for several weeks I need to change several things in my life. I want the next forty years to be lived with as little regrets as possible. I want to do the things that feel right to ME. I want to be true to what I know in my heart is right for me and my family. I no longer want to live my life trying to please everyone else. If I please God then nothing else really matters.

I have spent the first few days of being forty focusing on being true to myself. I struggle with wanting to be all things to all people. I need to learn to be comfortable with who I am. I must admit that letting go of my own expectations of what a "good" mom should look and act like as allowed be to be much more content. Much more at peace with who I am. So all things considered turning forty has been somewhat liberating!! I am looking forward to the next forty with great anticipation.