Journey to the Dream

As I begin my soul searching today I am sitting in front of the Television. Not the place one generally goes for great in site. However, today is MLK day and the TV is consumed with programs about his life. Every channel I turned to I would hear those ever famous words "I Have a Dream."

Once again I am forced to ask myself if I have a dream. I am choosing this day to dream a dream for myself. Not for my children or for my family but for me!!

But what does a wife and a mother of five children dream about if it is not her family? What drives me? What makes me want to get up in the morning? I truly don't know how to answer these questions. I get up because I have to go to work. I keep pushing each day because my family needs me. I try to do what's Holy and acceptable because I want God to find me worthy to stand in the gap and make up the hedge for those I pray for. I try to look nice because I want those I love to be proud of me. So, what am I doing for me?

Since having children I always assumed doing things for myself was a selfish act. I am realizing that by not taking time for myself I am teaching my children that I don't have value. That in and of itself is a disservice to myself and them. How do I teach them to dream if I am not setting the standard and preparing the way. So I digress, today I choose to dream a dream for me.

The Journey to my dream:

I want to know and understand what responsibility I have in accepting the gift of salvation in my life.I want to fully understand the price that God paid for my atonement. And what I am to do with the privilege of being a child of the KING.