Bitter Sweet

Just another manic Monday. Remember that song? Isn't it strange what pops up in your mind? It's almost as if there is a little recorder in your brain with an on/off switch. The only problem is no one knows what will trigger the switch. Seems to me that the play button gets pushed at the most inopportune times. I think in my case its a record player not a recorder. And it probably needs a new needle because it keeps skipping and getting stuck on the same old songs over and over.

Its not just songs that repeat themselves in my mind. All types of memories flood my mind during the day. Often I open my Bible and the smell of the pages remind of going to church as a little girl. Suddenly the fear that I felt as a child when the preacher told about the horrors of Hell overwhelm me. I remember how I didnt want to go to sleep at night for fear I would die in my sleep. The torment I went through during those years led to many sleepless nights and hundreds of prayers.

But it was in that same church that I came to know the Lord as my Savior. To this day when I hear a bass guitar I think of Ronnie Ridnour. He was the bass player at our church. He was playing "Just as I am" the morning I was saved. So along with the fear came understanding. And with understanding came atonement. I guess all memories are bitter sweet.